Introductions are in order I guess

Hello dear readers, my name is Ray. This is not my first go-around at writing in this blog format. Some of you may have read my stuff before, but more likely that is not the case, and that is totally okay. I really got this new website because I wanted a clean break from my old writing, my more…immature stuff. I am still proud of a lot of it, but looking back at it, I can see the more brash style of my youth shining through, almost showing itself off in a way that just makes me cringe today. But yeah, I am a guy in my mid-thirties who has decided to howl into the void of the internet once again.

So unlike the previous blog, I went out and actually paid for something, which suggests a certain level of commitment to what I plan on doing with this space. But now that begs the question, what do I plan on doing with this? Well obviously, I plan on writing. How much? I have no idea, as my life is a constantly shifting set of circumstances. I do want to get to it regularly though, as I find writing to be a cathartic process, and it is one I have not allowed myself to indulge in for quite some time. I always claim it is because I am busy, but I think more than anything, I feel like I don’t have a right to express myself? It is actually an odd feeling, and I don’t really know how to express it properly, but I think I am doing myself a disservice by not writing, by not dumping my brain out sometimes. Will I have a schedule? Maybe, that would be cool. I think I may in fact do better with deadlines placed on me by others; whether that be school-related, work-related, etc. However, the flip-side of that coin is that self-imposed deadlines are always ignored, because I guess I don’t see myself as an authority on…well I guess my own time. So while a schedule would be cool, I don’t know if I would stick to something self-created like that.

What will I be writing about? I think generally whatever I want. My previous blog was dedicated to video games, and I will still be writing heavily about those because that is frankly my main hobby. I also read quite a bit, I also build Gundam models. I also watch a lot of cooking competition shows, so really it could be about anything. I don’t know if I will review games like I used to try doing, at the very least I wouldn’t be trying to keep up with the latest and greatest. I don’t have the time, energy, or want to try to keep up with all the releases throughout a calendar year. I don’t have the drive to be or stay relevant in that space. There are countless others doing so that are doing a much better job than I could ever hope to do. I think what I said before describes best what I want to do; I want someplace to pour out the contents of my brain. I have become more withdrawn as time goes on, I have lost touch with a lot of people; a lot of it on purpose, some by accident. I think this is my way of reaching out, somewhere to someone, no one in particular. But if you read what I write, enjoy it, and decide to come back, thank you.

Is there anything I will avoid writing about? Probably politics. I am actually a really political person, and I am typically not shy about my views, but I don’t think I want this space to have the energy in it I bring to my political viewpoints. I don’t know, maybe I will go back on this idea, this is more me thinking out-loud with this stuff.

Will I be doing anything else besides writing? Will I have videos? Streaming? I have always wanted to stream, I have even tried it a couple of times. But performance anxiety, mixed with actual anxiety has cut me off every time. Plus I currently live in an environment that is not conducive to uninterrupted bouts of game-playing over a stream. That may in fact be changing soon though, so we will see what I can/want to do when the dust settles.

I really have no idea where this will be going, or what I will end up doing with it. Like so many things I have tried in the past, it could simply wither and die, forgotten by me until I notice the recurring charge on my debit card statement. Or it could be something that I should have been doing already, but simply worked up the urge to just…do it. We will see. Thank you for reading.


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